White Horses
by twostrandsofmelody
Summary: A look at the tangled relationship of Montparnasse and Eponine.


_Say you're sorry.  
>That face of an angel comes out just when you need it to.<em>  
>~o~<p>

It was the first time she'd seen him since her father's arranged _rendezvous_. Neither of them had wanted it, she knew that it was only her place to support her family. They couldn't pretend and make it go away, no then she'd have to suffer at the hand of some horrendous brute. Montparnasse had told her that he would not have been able to live with himself if that was the way things played out. He cared about her too much to allow that. Not enough to find a way to cheat their fates, but at least soften the blow.

So many thoughts had buzzed through her head since that evening. Did this change their friendship? How did they talk to each other after this? Did he feel anything for? What if she fell pregnant? How would he feel when she began her side occupation? Where did this leave them?

As soon as her father had started putting for this idea, a new way for them to improve the eventual destitution, she had hoped it would fade away. Would he have just found another willing man if Montparnasse had declined? In a way Montparnasse had been her hero and in so many ways he had become her enemy. He'd always had her back, took the blame for things she did wrong in crimes, covered so many times she wanted to sneak away and she figured he saw this as another time for him to step in and save her from an impending doom. Soften the blow. It hadn't been _all_ bad, they'd kissed had kissed before, but only tender kisses of caring affection. Not the strange passionate kisses he tried to grace her with to mend the ache of what was going to happen.

She had been young when she first met the sandy-haired boy that would one day change her young fifteen year old life. He had never felt like a brother, though he and Gavroche spent plenty of time together. Montparnasse was more than a brother and less than a lover and _everything_ had change in one single evening.

"Eponine," He whispered as he sat down at the table in front of her. She'd hoped he wouldn't sit down with her, he could see it in her wide-eyed startled look and the way she shrank into her seat. This was not the way he'd wanted their relationship to turn. He'd had so many dreams and plans that had been shattered by betraying her trust. He just knew that she would never again leave herself open to the possibility that one day they could marry and run far away from Paris, settle down and own a farm. He'd never voiced these ideas and never would now. "How are you?"

"Better, thank you." Eponine replied, crossing her arms in her lap sheepishly. She tried to meet his eyes but felt humiliated as they met brown to blue. "How are you?"

"Perfectly fine." He wouldn't wound his pride to make her feel better about what they'd done. Sure, it wasn't what either of them had planned on – but she didn't have to behave like it made her ill. The look in her brown eyes made his heart ache to think of how he'd betrayed her. "I-" No, he wasn't sorry. They were no longer children, they were sixteen and fifteen and they shouldn't be ashamed by what had occurred. She should be thankful that it had been him and not some fifty year old letch. They discovered a new step into maturity together. A bond they'd never be able to give up.

"Will you be on the break in tonight?" Eponine asked casually, finding even small talk to be complicated now.

"Yes, will you?" He could only hope they'd be working alongside again, they sorted so many issues out beneath a dark starry night and the silence of the cold evening air.

"No, father has asked me to stay here tonight." Eponine felt ill about the fact she was forbidden to help with a break in because she had a 'new and severely more important occupation'.

Montparnasse set his jaw hard, balling his hands into fists. "But you _always_ go with me… Who will, not that they can, take your place?"

"You're sweet." Eponine retorted, biting her lip. "One of the men I suppose."

"Unless their _here_."

"Please let's not go into this 'Parnasse what happened between us was nothing to get you feeling possessive towards me." She was saving her own heart by lying. "We happened for one evening, but it's not my life anymore."

"I know I hurt you." Montparness gritted. "I didn't _want_ to! I didn't want to hurt you at all. I _had_ to do it. Don't you understand that?"

"Yes." It was a blunt answer, lacking emotion or care. A clever lie that he bought into.

"If your father hadn't decided that his beautiful daughter was worth a little money for a tumble in the sack, we could have been _something_."

"I would have had to see it to believe it. Neither of us are settle downers." Eponine slowly rose to her feet, hesitating departing him. "No sense looking back now."

Montparnasse caught her arm and starred her in the eyes, "I'm sorry."

~o~

_As I paced back and forth all this time cause I honestly believed in you.  
>Holding on, the days drag on. Stupid girl, I should have known.<em>_  
><em>_I should have known_  
>~o~<p>

Eponine had been a fool to believe that Montparnasse's apology was sincere. She used to hang on his every word and believe everything he ever said, but those times were long gone. He was no longer the sweet innocent 'Parnasse that only worked for her father to stay a step above the rest of the impoverished Parisians. Now he seemed to take pleasure in his new thieving duties instead of loathing them. Not to mention that he was now considered "one of the men" because of her father's plan for her. He was no longer the kid that tagged along to work with them, he was one of them.

The few times she was able to work with them, she felt uncomfortable with his heavy gaze and mocking advances. It was clear that the men had informed him that she was no longer his closest friend, but a woman of the night there for any man's pleasure and not to be thought of as a friend. She knew it was bound to happen but she had hoped that Montparnasse could fight the flow and stay the same.

She was a fool to have believed that Montparnasse actually cared about her. Why would he care about a woman who sold herself to men? She was no longer the same girl he had grown up with. He didn't even look at her the same way anymore.

"Oh Eponine," Montparnasse gave her a leering grin as he walked into the tavern and up to the counter, "How's my favorite whor-"

"Watch your mouth." Eponine snapped, narrowing her eyes at Montparnasse.

"Has 'Ponine decided to voice her opinion? How _sweet_."

"Bastard, you know I've always voiced my opinion and you _used_ to listen to me when I had something to say." She slammed a mug of ale down on the bar, careful to slam it down onto his fingers. He hissed in pain, nursing his fingers between his lips. She smirked at his pain, chuckling softly. "Oops."

Montparnasse grimaced, wiggling his fingers in an attempt to regain feeling in the tips. "You're such a little bitch Eponine."

Eponine felt something snap inside of her as she watched Montparnasse unfeelingly sip his ale, "You think you can just use me at my father's expense, become the "man" the others have wanted you to become and then you can treat me like an animal. This is _not_ what I wanted my life to turn out like. So if you _care_ at all, even if it's some old feeling that's fading away, then you can act like a _real_ man and care about a suffering girl."

Montparnasse tried to keep a straight face as he finished his mug of ale, wiped his mouth clean and then jumped up on the bar. Eponine opened her mouth to speak, "What are you-" She was cut off by Montparnasse's lips against hers. She hadn't expected to feel his lips against hers again; she hadn't expected him to be passionate with her unless he was buying her for the evening because her father had told him to. It was surprisingly nice to feel him kiss her again and not in the mock sham of a romantic interlude that she'd felt them in before.

"Have a _very_ nice day 'Poinine." He patted her head and winked at her as he slipped out of the Inn, leaving Eponine more confused then she had been before.

~o~  
><em>I was naive, got lost in your eyes<em>_  
><em>_And never really had a chance__  
><em>_I had so many dreams about you and me__  
><em>_Happy endings, now I know_  
>~o~<p>

Eponine let out the loudest scream she could, calling any and all attention to the crime about to happen. She couldn't let Marius get caught. The dizzying realization that her father would make her pay set in as the gang slinked away.

She was caught off guard as Montparnasse came back suddenly and kissed her. A shockingly passionate and despising kiss, he wasn't allowed to kiss her like that anymore. He wasn't allowed to make her feel like, not with Marius so close to her.

"Bastard." she hissed as he slipped into the shadows. Eponine barely had a second to recover from the kiss before Marius was clamoring over the gate, taking her hand, and running away before gendarmes appeared.

Why was Montparnasse always there when she was so close to being happy? Even if her chance with Marius were fading with Cosette. Montparnasse was slowly ruining her life with all the ways he made her feel. How could you hate someone so much yet still cared about them?

Life wasn't a fairytale and he couldn't expect to sweep her off her feet whenever he pleased and leave her alone in her castle of despair the next moment. She was smart enough to know he didn't really care about her and yet she always ended up seduced by his pretty words and compelling eyes; lulled into the false safe security of his arms and his lips.

"You alright 'Ponine?" Marius questioned, trying to read the troubled look on his bed-draggled friend's face.

"It's nothing."

"Was it that man in the shadows?"

Eponine startled like a stray dog, "What do you mean?"

"You were staring after the receding shape in the shadows. You knew the thief?"

"He's no one." Eponine lied, her eyes wide as saucers and fearful. Montparnasse always had to ruin everything.

"Is he your 'lover' 'Ponine?"

Marius was a lost cause now, but she wasn't giving up he could still learn to love her. "He works for my father. He's like my brother." He had been like her brother until one dark night in her fifteenth year, and then he became a twisted web of midnight rendezvous and angry passionate kisses. "I ain't got anyone but you Marius!"

Marius laughed kindly and patted her on the shoulder, as if it didn't matter what she'd said. She loved Marius, but she found that when she was with him she only felt jealous and betrayed and it was only alone where she felt hopelessly in love with him. But was it love? Or was it a hopeless infatuation with a boy that she knew was far out of her league. How many times had Montparnasse put her to bed crying about her rag-doll appearances and how she had a snowball's chance in hell? Perhaps it was 'Parnase's clever way to remind her that to him, she was his. She'd never found the words to change his beliefs because maybe she secretly cared about Montparnasse more than she cared to admit.

"I have to go to the Musain 'Ponine, I'll see you around." Marius gave Eponine a sweet smile before excusing himself, leaving her to wander like she always did. He'd seen her now and again on his way home from the Café Musain, she'd be walking and talking with herself, a smile on her face and happier than he'd seen her in a long while. He always wondered who she must be imagining beside her.

~o~  
><em>And there you are on your knees<em>_  
><em>_Begging for forgiveness, begging for me__  
><em>_Just like I always wanted but I'm so sorry  
>And it's too late for you and your white horse<em>  
>~o~<p>

"Where do you think you're going?" Montparnasse caught the indistinguishable figure of Eponine by the arm, reeling her in close. His eyes adjusted in the thick darkness and he laughed, "And what are you wearing?"

"Let go of me!" Eponine squirmed out of his hold.

"You look like a boy, but you sound like an old bedmate of mine." Montparnasse tugged at her hat, watching as her dark tresses fell around her face. "Like I thought, 'Ponine dear why are you dressed like a boy? What's that little schoolboy got you up to?"

"Why do you care?"

"Because I do care." Montparnasse admitted truthfully. "I've always cared."

How could Eponine believe that he care about her when throughout their whole lives she'd seen reason after reason to prove that he only cared about what was best for him. "I have places to be."

He caught her arm again, bringing her in to his chest and surprising her with a passionate kiss. She attempted to push him away but instead threw her arms around the back of his neck and gave into the kiss.

"I never meant to hurt you Eponine, God, if I could take all of it back. Everything I did to hurt you, I would. Eponine, I was a scared child, terrified of your father and what he would do if I didn't do my "job", what he'd do to you if I didn't get it over with. For God's sake I've been trying to tell you for _years_ and you're always pushing me away. Just when I think I'm close enough to tell you, you shove me away."

Eponine bit her lip, the letter from Marius still tightly gripped in her hands. She couldn't think about Montparnasse's confession right now, she had to do this for Marius. "I have to do this and then I'll speak with you about this. Meet me at the gate of the house you tried to break into the other day. You'll find me there."

"Eponine-"

"I have to do this." Eponine explained again, turning back to look at the sandy haired boy, one last time, before she darted off down the street. First Marius, then Montparnasse. That was the order of things in her mind.

_Now it's too late for you and your white horse, to catch me now._

**A/N: Not nearly as long as I wanted it to be, but I couldn't think of anything more to add to it that wouldn't alter the flow that I'd achieved. This was a recommended idea from thereinsidemymind (: I think it's a wonderful idea to use this song for these characters!**


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